How much stock do you put in the about page? Do you change it often? Or has it not been touched since the day you wrote it?
To be honest, the about page of my blog has intermittently stressed and annoyed me since I first started writing here back in 2015. When I began writing this current post, I thought it was again a me problem. The issue must be my inability to stick to one thing and “make it work,” or alternately, that I’m again trying to craft whatever persona will look and sound best to Some Imaginary Person. To recap…
I started this shin-dig as a horse blog way back in 2015, then my riding instructor, the second most influential in my riding to date, passed away. The focus changed and I came up with the name currently used as my url as an internship to launch my career loomed and I began begrudgingly accepting narcolepsy into my life. And then narcolepsy pretty much took over the remainder of 2016.
I changed gears again in 2017 and decided this was going to be a recreation therapy blog, after suddenly finding myself employed full-time in my field of study. I still love explaining it to people: similar to physical and occupational therapy, but instead of working on the body (physical therapy), or things someone *has* to do – i.e. dressing, bathing, driving – (occupational therapy), recreation therapy is about improving or maintaining things a person wants, like rock climbing after an amputation, using animals to cope with PTSD, art as an outlet for at-risk youth and all sorts of other avenues. I still think that recreation therapy is a needed service and can benefit a wide range of people, but the version of this blog dedicated to it fell flat when I unexpectedly lost my first (and only) RT job.
Things were finally coming full circle last September when I started mentioning horses again. Making progress in that area and others was helping me feel more content and positive with where I was at. Even as I was having some testing done, I thought I’d be on my merry way. I even got some pictures going cross country and a fall in before the end of the year.
Now I know the results of that testing have pretty much set the tone for the first half of 2018, but thankfully it’s not something that will last forever.
As I was thinking about all the “versions” of my blog, as well as the timing, I started questioning how voluntary these shifts were. It’s not like I’ve changed my mind randomly. Each instance has had a catalyst I’ve tried to make the most of when it showed up in front of me. It was around that time I realized the about page hasn’t really caused me stress, it’s simply reflected back the discomfort I’ve had around my sense of self as it has been regularly challenged by unpreventable outer circumstances.
It’s been difficult adjusting to and integrating all of the challenges detailed above to my internal story. I’m still the same horse crazy 11 year old in the picture above, and I don’t think that’s going to change. I might not know much beyond that where I’m going with what I write here (or in general), but now I think I can let go of trying to have my about page be perfectly accurate or geared towards one thing. I had to write it out though, which seems to be consistent for me. Writing helps me process whatever I’m going through at the moment, and perhaps that’s the purpose for now.